Haven’t you watched enough stories on Dateline or 48 Hours to know how easily people hide their worst and often dangerous behavior?Oh, and I hope you didn’t fall for other messages that are floating around out there about having sex too soon: “If you feel it, do it.” Or, “If I feel it, it must be right.” Really–you’re going to act on an impulse that grew from, probably, mostly words rather than behavior over a course of time?The first few weeks when you’re getting to know someone can be filled with nerves, excitement and expectation.Ever wonder what a man really thinks during those early encounters with you? Have you ever gone on a few dates with a guy, thought things were going well, and then things fizzled out without warning?Sure, they all start in the afternoon—but don’t be surprised if they end the next morning. Plus, research has found that adrenaline-spiking activities like riding a roller coaster mimic the feelings of falling in love—and might even be transferred toward how she feels about you. For added points, plan a couple of options for after, suggests Casey. “Relationships are built on common experiences,” reminds Casey. Competition raises testosterone, which can amp up both of your libidos. Plus, studies have found that triggering feelings of nostalgia can increase self-esteem and foster feelings of connectedness—both of which will make your date feel even more comfortable with you.“Suggesting a walk in the park, a cool street festival, or hitting a museum exhibit shows her you’ve put thought into an itinerary.” 3. Even if a tour’s a bust, the terribleness of it can become something both of you can bond over.
All I’m saying is that if it doesn’t come up organically within three dates, you might want reconsider before investing emotionally in this dude.
You don’t want to end up like Cookie in the cartoon below.
If you are smart, you know how to tamp down those impulses to connect by sealing the deal with sex.
I know what you see of my clients and me on the show is prep for the first date and the first date itself, but I’m actually very involved with my clients throughout the entire beginning phase of their courtship—on both the millionaire and the match’s sides.
Basically, until the couple decides to be monogamous, I’m there.